So how is it that you go about praying? We all have our own way of coming before the Lord with the thoughts, feelings and desires of our hearts. While over the years my way of praying has evolved, yet there are some elements in the way I pray that haven’t changed. My prayer in the morning begins with about 10-15 minutes of formal prayer, from prayer cards and memorized prayers over the years. Then I pray the Office of Readings and Morning Prayer from the Liturgy of the Hours that are part of my ordination promises to pray for the people of God. Following upon the “formal prayer,” I then either reflect upon the Mass readings for the day (Lectio Divina) or simply quiet myself and allow the Lord to direct that time with him, in a posture of receptivity.
Over the years I have discovered that there are a significant number of people who have stopped praying. When asked why, they usually say because “it doesn’t work.” Upon investigating this statement, I often discover that they grew up believing that prayer should work like a vending machine: you put in the prayer and immediately you should receive the desired outcome. After all, quoting the end of Sunday’s gospel, Jesus said, “Ask and you shall receive.” After “saying prayers” for one thing after another, without instant results, many people simple stop praying because “it doesn’t work” like they thought it would.
In any case, the prayer that “asks, seeks, knocks” has to be a relational prayer, that is, it needs to take place within the context of a friendship one has with the one to whom we are praying. The challenge is that so many of us do not have a personal relationship with the Lord because no one has helped us develop our prayer life beyond the basic prayers we learned at the time we received our first Holy Communion. Thus, when we “say prayers” for our needs and intentions, it may not occur to us to even relate to the Lord as our brother and friend. We may simply see praying as “transactional.” This would be like saying, “I don’t care who the bank teller is, I just want to cash these checks.” When we pray, are we only interested in the results or do we come before the Lord as a friend, to whom we entrust the depths of our hearts?
Most of the time when we ask someone for significant help, it is someone with whom we have a relationship. Asking complete strangers for big favors would be to overlook the fact that we have yet to establish a relationship with them. Yet, so many times, when it comes to the Lord, we come before the Lord with a kind of entitlement mentality that God owes me this favor or request. Then, when the answer to our prayers seems delayed or ignored, rather than pray with persistence, we might all too quickly give up on the Lord. So again, how it is that you go about praying? What time and transparency do you expend in growing a relationship with each of the three persons of the Blessed Trinity?
As we learn through honesty and transparency in our prayer to “ask, seek, knock” at the heart of God, we also learn to place ourselves in a posture of receptivity before the Lord. Ongoing (persistent) prayer demonstrates to the Lord our great desire for what we need, our steadfast faith in his goodness as our loving Father, and our fervent hope in his loving providence. With persistent prayer, the Lord grows our relationship with him by opening our hearts to life on his terms and our surrender to the Holy Spirit. Persistence in prayer, if we are open to it, grows in us the virtues of faith, hope and love.
Notice at the end of yesterday’s gospel, Jesus says that if we “ask, seek or knock” through prayer, “How much more will the Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him?" On the other hand, if we stop praying out of frustration, weariness or a lack of faith, our relationship with the Lord might soon stagnate or wane. Easily enough we might slide back into “managing our own happiness” and living life without reference to God – all of which is the opposite of persistence in prayer. In other words, if we persist in asking God through faith-filled petition for the desires of our hearts (like children who wear out their parents), we would surely receive more than we even imagined.
The point of persistent prayer is to live daily out of a personal, open, honest, transparent, friendship with God and an intimate, ceaseless union with Jesus, so that we continually entrust every aspect of our lives to the Lord and allow him to take care of us. To cease praying is to give the evil one new opportunity to draw us away from the Lord, to deepen our discouragement, foster despair and increase our self-reliance. When Jesus asks us to be persistent in our prayer it is because he knows our human tendency is to doubt, to give up, to become discouraged and lose hope. As I have said in these reflections before, if you really want to stick it to the devil – be persistent in prayer!
Lastly, we would do well to read the lives of the saints and learn from them. Their lives are characterized by a life-long pursuit of friendship with the Lord and constant dialogue with him in prayer. Whether you are 28, 48, 68 or 88 years of age, the Lord is ready to welcome you into a life of deeper intimacy with him. Simply lean into what your heart desires and talk to the Lord about it. Ask, seek, knock and trust that when he opens the door for you, it will be much more than you imagined!
